Another cranky night

Baby Bird was up crying again last night... or rather, this morning.  Couldn't get him to settle down, didn't even want to nurse, which is usually my secret weapon to cure all ills.  And, I could tell he was exhausted, poor thing.  Had woken up crying at about 4:45 or so, fell asleep around 6:15, but woke up again at about 6:40.  And then, for the next three hours (or just about), he was awake and cranky, kind of an irritated wimpering, and if we tried to put him down he would start crying even harder.  No fever.  When he finally fell asleep, he did start to snore a little bit, but that was the first sign of any congestion.

Took him to the pediatrician (I did feel a little like a hypochondriac making the call, but then, hey, I'm a new mom, how do I know?).  Thought it could be reflux acting up (as I had thought last week), or maybe teething (also as I thought last week).

Diagnosis?  Ear infection.

While it's not great that he's suffering, it's a relief for me to know what it is -- and to know that I was right to take him to the doctor.  After we finish nursing, it's off to the pharmacy for some antibiotics.

F/U (Follow Up) to Unhappy Camper :(

No fever when I checked this morning (he'd been 100.6 and 100.7 yesterday).  Temp today: 99.8.  Yay!  It's also obvious that Baby Bird is feeling better, as he's less clingy today.  I'd pretty much been holding him for the past 36+ hours and finally he was content to play in his crib and hang out in his sleeper for a bit.  Still a bit congested, but not as bad as yesterday.

So we have survived our first fever, and first attempts at taking a rectal temperature reading (sure helped to see the pediatrician do it first)!

Not Ready For Prime Time :(

Along with finding out that Baby Bird has a fever, and us getting locked out of our apartment, my dream of getting my baby into modeling has been deferred.  I checked out the agency's Facebook page today and saw a post asking for a head count for Sunday's open search (they announced a call for models that will happen quite close to where we live), i.e., who would be there, rain or shine.  Since they asked, I chimed in saying I'd like to bring my son, as long as it's not totally pouring out.  I also mentioned that I'd sent photos to them via email earlier in the week (and before I'd heard about the meet-n-greet) and asked if we still should come.  The rep from the modeling agency commented the following shortly thereafter:

If you email us we respond only if we are interested, fairly quickly...

Ah.

I see...

*sigh*

It had only been two days (and on their website they said they'd get back to you within a week) but I guess Baby Bird doesn't have "the look" they want.  Didn't realize how much I had my hopes up until they were dashed, but it probably also had to do with the day I've been having (Baby Bird's fever, getting locked out, the rain). I'll admit I'd been a little nervous about how we'd pull off taking him to appointments during the week, but I was willing to give it a shot.  If Baby Bird gave any indication that he did not enjoy himself, we would stop.  Just looked like it might be fun, and I was looking forward to the chance.  

Ah well, maybe we'll try again later, or with another agency.  The rejection stings, but I guess right now it wasn't meant to be.  

Unhappy camper :(

Up for part of the night with Baby Bird. :( Crying and crying, not sure what's wrong but think it's his reflux medicine. He was doing so well, doctor said we didn't need to increase his meds for weight anymore (a sort of self-wean). Well, that doesn't seem to be working. Or at least, I hope that's it, because it's an easy fix. For a while I'd thought his reflux was gone. Now I'm not so sure. :(

UPDATE: It's not reflux, at least, we don't think it is.  Turns out Baby Bird has a fever, so likely he's just got a cold.  So, no day care for him today; Mommy and Baby Bird stay home today.  Ha, but not before Mommy locks herself (and Baby Bird) out of the apartment, and has to wait for Daddy to come home from work to rescue them.  Luckily it didn't start raining until after walking to/from the pediatricians'!

Baby Bird, Entertainer

I don't know whether Baby Bird will share DH's and my love of music (singing it, playing it, or listening to it), but I'm making a first attempt to get him started.  He's getting so curious about the world around him that reclining in his sleeper or swing just isn't cutting it anymore.  So I wanted to get him something where he could sit up and look around and explore a bit.  We had put a Jumperoo on our registry and gotten it as a gift, but returned it after Baby Bird's occupational therapist at the NICU told us he shouldn't use one (they had noticed his feet turning in a significant amount, and while this was a natural result of being curled in the womb, we were given exercises to make sure his leg and feet muscles uncurled properly).

For a while it seemed fine to go without one, but as he's grown up a bit and gotten more interested in exploring, I wanted to find something to help satisfy his curiosity.  So, to replace the Jumperoo, I found this Fisher-Price Little Superstar Step N' Play Piano, which doesn't bounce, but does allow him to sit up, turn and step around a bit.  I don't know if it's really any better for his legs, so we won't let him play in it for long, but it definitely seems to do the trick of giving him something fun to do!

And here he is, checking it out (we just got it yesterday).  So far his favorite thing is to try to eat the maracas.

Flippin' baby!

This past Friday, Baby Bird learned how to flip over, at least one way.  He's been trying for a while but hadn't quite managed to work out the kinks until now.  And of course, once he learned, he couldn't stop himself.  Only trouble is, he gets stuck.  Flips easily from his back to his front, but once there, he's trapped.  They say (and I'm always trying to figure out exactly who They are) that it's easier for babies to flip from their front to their back.  Baby Bird seems to have gotten the memo backwards.  Whether it's his prematurity, or just his personality, he seems to have bypassed the easy for the hard.  Ha!  I bet he can't do the easy thing because he's overcomplicated it.  Must take after his mother.

I caught some of his earliest flips on video.  Here's a couple of examples (I didn't catch his first flip on video, so that's why they're named Take Two and Take Three, though Take Three is really probably Take Five or Take Six, he was constantly flipping once he got started).  So proud of him!

America's Next Top Model?

Even before Baby Bird was born, I had considering possibly getting my baby into modeling.  Of course, it would all depend on whether a) my baby turned out to be photogenic and b) my baby and I have the temperaments for the modeling world.  Well, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that so many people, family, friends and strangers alike, comment on how cute Baby Bird is when they meet him or see photos of him.  So why not?  Might as well try sending in a few photos and see if we get any bites.

The trouble was figuring out where to send some photos.  I've heard of all kinds of scams and had no idea how to distinguish the legitimate agencies from the sketchy ones, at least as far as online searches would go.  But finally I found one!  One of my cousins, who doubles as one of Baby Bird's godmothers, happened to have a friend who'd gotten her children into modeling, and she recommended the agency to me.  So DH and I took some pictures, and tonight I finally sent the email.  On the agency website they said they'd get back to me within a week, or not at all.  Now on to the waiting game; will we hear from them, or not?

These are the pics I sent in (the first two were taken by DH, the other two, by me):

Friday, September 9, 2011

This post contains a slight amount of breastfeeding TMI.  You have been warned...

Feeling very proud of myself -- I pumped nearly a full feeding just now!  The trick: second letdown.  My Medela pump works at two speeds: fast at first – for letdown – and then after a couple of minutes the pumps slows down, somewhat mimicking a baby’s sucking motion.  There is a button you can press to restart the pump, so that it goes through the two minutes of fast pumping again.  I was amazed to find that pressing the button actually induced a second round of letdown and I added maybe another ounce or so to my production… Woo hoo!  Now maybe there IS a chance I can keep up with Baby Bird at daycare – what a thought!  Gotta keep drinking that water, though…

Off to lunch!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First day back to work.  It’s pouring out.  DH’s car won’t start; my car won’t even jump it.  AAA comes and gives car a boost.  I’m a half hour later to work than I’d planned.  Later on, DH drives to my office and stops by to say hi with Baby Bird (easy way to give the car time to charge the battery).  Then we switch cars so he can do what he was planning to do today in the first place: take MY car in to be serviced.  They leave and I go get ready to pump.  Doh!  I left my pump parts at home; I can’t pump.  So off I go home to pump over lunch… *sigh* What a way to begin!

Day care begins (under construction)

[space reserved for post about Baby Bird's first days at day care]

Odds and Ends (under construction)

[space saved for anything else I missed up until now]

Maternity Leave (under construction)

[space reserved for post about maternity leave]

The first five months (under construction)

One month old

Two months old

Three months old

Four months old

Five months old - today

April 25, 2011: Our first days as (NICU) parents

[The following is a historical post, originally written on Monday, April 25, 2011]

Hard to believe it's been a week already; at the same time, it seems like forever since I could feel Baby Bird kicking me in the side like he was trying to dig a pipeline through to my kidney. It's been a good week, but a rough one, and I've lost it many times. I think what's hardest, and I summed it up for my husband a few days ago when I was feeling really out of sorts and exhausted, is that for so many months I was intimately linked to my baby, and felt his every movement, and all of a sudden he's not there on the inside anymore, but now that he's on the outside he's somewhere I can't even touch him.

Granted, since that particularly bleak moment I (and DH) have been able to hold Baby Bird for about a half hour or so each day (so three days so far), and that has made all the difference in the world (that and the fact that my milk supply continues to increase such that I'm up to being able to provide him at least four full breast milk feedings per day)! DH and I spend most of the time while he's in our arms just staring at him, or taking pictures, or we talk to him or each other so he can hear our voices, even while fast asleep. Yesterday I sang to him a little, a couple of French nursery rhymes I had sung to him while he was in the womb.

Preemie Land is a strange country. It's one thing to be a brand-spanking-new parent and have no clue how to do things, but to have the chance to wing it, knowing that after all, it's your baby and you can do what you want (within reason of course). It's entirely another to be a brand-spanking-new parent with no clue how to do things, and then be restricted from letting your instincts guide you on how to be with your baby. I know that Baby Bird needs to be in the NICU, and the nurses and doctors are doing everything in their power to get him ready to come home as soon as possible, but it's so hard sometimes to know where I fit into his NICU life. The nurses are really sweet and helpful and understanding, but sometimes I feel like I get in their way. Part of it really isn't anything to do with the nurses per se, it's just because Baby Bird's main issue is that he needs to stay calm and unstressed so that his lungs can mature. Whenever he gets upset, or cries, or fidgets a lot, it causes him to work harder to breathe and that gets in the way of his lungs doing the catch-up work they need to do. So there are times when the nurses don't want him to be bothered by anything, including me.

Of course, the irony of it is that, when they do put him in my arms, or DH's, he's perfectly content, and seems ready to stay there for hours. We can't, however, hold him for too long though because it means he's out of his isolette and he needs the warmth of the isolette to help his body stay stress-free.

Okay, pity party's over. He's been doing great, except for his breathing, which remains labored (Respiratory Distress Syndrome, or RDS), so it really depends on him getting his breathing under control before he will be able to take a bottle or breast. Once he can do either/both of those things (preferably the breast, but they won't let him go to breast until he can handle the bottle -- backwards if you ask me, but who am I, just his mom), and can go without the supplemental oxygen, he will be on the road to discharge. So we're looking at another week probably, at least. The tough thing, practically speaking, for me about his stay in the NICU is that, due to the fact that I am still recovering from his delivery, I am not allowed to drive for two weeks. So I am reliant on others to take me to see him. I'm such an independent person, this has proved especially frustrating to me. But, my cousin took me over on Saturday, DH and I went together every other day, and my mom is coming to stay with us for a week this coming Tuesday, so she will be able to drive me the days that DH has to work.

Ok, time to go get some other stuff done before I have to pump again. In the meantime, some more pics of Baby Bird (on his one-week birthday) for your viewing pleasure:

April 19, 2011: Labor Days, Part III -- The Birth Story

[The following is a historical post, originally written on Tuesday, April 19, 2011]

10:05 am

And we're... TEAM BLUE!!!!  Baby Boy (hereafter Baby Bird) was born at 1:10 am on Sunday, April 17, 2011. I managed to get him to 34 weeks 1 day gestation, he weighed in at birth at a whopping 6 lbs, 10.6 oz, and he was 19 1/4 inches long. He's now in the NICU, working on his breathing, and will probably be there for a week or so. Each day is touch and go because his lungs are a bit underdeveloped (despite the steroid shots I was given). At present his doctor is concerned he might have a leak in his lungs, because he is breathing really hard. They will x-ray his chest again this afternoon to see how things are going, but it sounds like all we can do at this point is wait and see.

Baby Bird's birth was, in the end, extremely quick. I remember the doctors who delivered him debating afterward whether they really could put down as record that pushing took only 10 minutes. It definitely was something precipitous like that. But let me back up a bit...

Saturday afternoon, as I mentioned in my last update, the doctors started me on pitocin to regularize my contractions, with the hope that they would become more productive, and start me into active labor. My hope was that this could get my water to break on its own. Well, truthfully, I had hoped to be able to move around a bit and use some of my natural birthing class techniques to get active labor started, but since I was put on the pitocin I couldn't move around (at least I think that's why --- so much of this is a blur, bear with me!). My doctors were sympathetic to my desire to have as little intervention as possible, but the nature of our situation threw most of those desires out the window, understandably. We needed to get the baby out as efficiently as possible.

We had a big discussion about breaking my water. The doctors wanted to break my waters early on in the afternoon, and I really didn't want them to. In retrospect, I think the toughest part about how the delivery proceeded was the inner conflict I felt over wanting to advocate for as few interventions as possible, all the while worrying that by doing so I was getting in the way of what was safest for the baby. But I suppose it was somewhat needless worry, in that, if push came to shove and the baby was in danger, the doctors would do what was necessary.

So we talked about doing an amniotomy, but my doctors agreed to give the pitocin some time to work, and we'd evaluate as we went along. Fair enough.

[Side note: the doctors who delivered me were not my regular doctors, rather a resident of the hospital and the on-call OB who tag teams with my doctors' obstetric practice. Both were great; in fact, the entire team who's helped me since Thursday afternoon has been wonderful.]

They started the pitocin at a very low dose and gradually increased it. I started feeling contractions, and they got progressively closer together, but they were mild, like menstrual cramps, the kind you notice and you feel kind of crampy, but they aren't very distracting. I was able to carry on conversations, check email, entertain visitors (DH's dad, sister and brother-in-law came by to see us after the shower was over), and even attempt to nap. While this was all great and wonderful (I kept wondering if I was going to luck out and have a really mild labor overall, or whether karma was going to come and kick me in the ass at some point), it wasn't helping much. The contractions were regular, about 2-3 min apart, but I wasn't getting anywhere. I maybe went to about 7 cm over the course of several hours.

Just before midnight, DH and I started to drift off to sleep; or rather, DH was already nodding off and I decided to make a concerted effort to get some rest myself, figuring that we were being left alone for a while. Well, a few minutes later, shortly after midnight, and basically just long enough later that I felt as if I had been awaken from a really decent sleep zone, my doctors came into the room and announced that it was time to break my water. Seriously it felt like they marched in to make the grand announcement. I'll admit though, by this time, despite the fact that I would rather have napped for a little while, I wasn't opposed to getting the show on the road. So I agreed (not that I think I had much say in the matter) and then the party really got started.

They broke my water and it seemed like within only a few short minutes everything changed. Full force contractions started almost instantaneously, and they were brutal. It was so sudden a shift in intensity that I was really caught off guard. Night and day doesn't even cover it. Yup, it was bad.

But, thank goodness it was short. As I'm adjusting to these new ferocious contractions, I kind of panicked that there was no way I could stand many of them... I had no transition, no time to get used to contractions gradually increasing in intensity and pain (was this the effect of all the pitocin without the buffer of the amniotic sac?)... I just wanted to escape my body. My husband was great as he coached me through the contractions, all the while the doctors needed to know if I wanted an epidural and I was desperately trying to figure out whether I did... another one of those moments of inner conflict. In theory I really didn't want an epidural, but this pain was more than I had anticipated, so I considered it. DH said the doctors were really pressuring me  -- I was at a hospital with a 98% epidural rate after all -- and they couldn't tell me how long I'd need to push, and I worried that I wouldn't be able to handle this type of pain for long. They told me that if I wanted an epi, it was now or never.

I was still debating the epi issue, and about to concede, when I started to feel like I had to poop really bad (sorry, but you knew this is going to be full of TMI, lol). Hearing this, the resident suggested trying to push for a couple of contractions. I said okay, and we tried. The amazing thing was that the contractions hurt much less when I was pushing, they still hurt like the devil, but within a more manageable realm, if that makes any sense.

After a couple of pushes, the resident checked me and said, okay, you're at about 9 1/2 now... this is it! The NICU team rushed in to get ready to take the baby (they probably were there already but it all seemed to happen at once), the other doctor was there too -- it was chaos and I can't remember all the folks who were there, but I know they were scrambling to get my legs in the stirrups and then they're telling me to push, sometimes up to three times per contraction, and I felt like I couldn't breathe, and couldn't get coordinated in taking breaths and where to hold my legs and pushing my chin to chest and... I was a discombobulated mess and had my eyes closed the whole time... but apparently I got something right, because after only a handful of contractions, I felt this burn, and a whoosh, and then, it was over. And then something was screaming like a banshee down near my feet. Oh, it's my son!

Well, I didn't know it was my son until they brought him up to my chest a moment later and I could see all of him. Yup, it's a boy all right, and man, was he upset (who can blame him, he just got evicted from a cosy home, and some 6 weeks early to boot)!

I got to have a brief moment of skin-to-skin contact with him before they whisked him away to the NICU (Daddy went with him), and that was great. But they had already cut the cord so we weren't able to delay the clamping as we'd hoped (and no one had asked us about it before hand --- our birth plan was still in draft form as we thought we a bit more time). Ah well, there wasn't much time for much discussion of anything, and really, the important part is that my baby got out safely.

I won't lie though, I'm super glad there wasn't even time for me to agree to the epidural. The anesthesiologist wouldn't have been able to get my consent and set up in time for me to get it (and the contractions were so close together I can't imagine how they would have managed to keep me still enough). So yeah, if there's one part of my birth plan I'm glad I got to stick to, it was that I managed to deliver without pain meds. Yup, certified masochist here... but seriously, pushing was better than just sitting through the contractions, so I lucked out in that I didn't have much time to wait before I could push. I ended up tearing, so I have stitches, but that happened so fast too that I didn't notice it (other than the general burn of pushing Baby Bird out).

All in all, it was quite the roller coaster ride. I'll have to write the analysis later. They're kicking me out of the hospital today, and I have to navigate this weird space of going home without my baby. But it's indescribable, this feeling of fascination and wonder at the fact that there is now a little boy in the world who wasn't here two days ago, and that I am his mommy.

And here he is, at about 17 hours old:

April 16, 2011: Labor Days, Part II

[The following is a historical post, originally written on Saturday, April 16, 2011]


5:10 pm


Group B Strep test came back positive, so it's time to get the baby out. I'm on penicillin, and they've started me on pitocin to get the contractions coming at a regular pace. Then I'll probably get my water broken. Not too keen on that, but not sure if I'll have a chance to try to break my waters myself.

So the next couple of hours will just be focused on getting me to a regular pattern. Then they'll check me and see what's next. But we're all hoping baby gets here quickly.

Over and out. Gonna try to rest for a bit. I'll update when I can.

April 15, 2011: Labor Days, Part I

[The following is a historical post, originally written on Friday, April 15, 2011]


8:30 am


Soooooo.... um, yeah.  I'm actually writing this from a hospital bed. I went to my OB appointment yesterday at 1:40 pm, waited for what seemed like hours on the table for my OB to see me, and finally had one of my shortest appointments on record. I was scheduled for another fetal fibronectin (fFN) test and my Group B strep test (lovely), and so my OB did those first. I told her how I've been wondering if the baby has dropped or majorly shifted or something, because I've noticed a lot more pressure whenever I am on my feet. She said the baby might have, but let's take a look. The verdict:

4 centimetres dilated --- WTF??? (or What the Faggioli/Farina/Fruitcake)

And with that, I was packed up and sent to L&D. My OB was convinced that I was going into labor. YIKES!

I get to the hospital and for the first time (I've been sent to L&D four times already), my visit did not end in the triage area. They did my intake, vitals etc., strapped me to the monitors that showed I was contracting but with no consistency, but they also had me sign a delivery consent form and went through all the steps to admit me. Then I got set up in an L&D room, and got an IV where they started me on fluids and then soon after magnesium sulfate. They gave me the first of two steroid shots, and I've had 3 doses of procardia so far.

So what is actually going on? It's anybody's guess. Actually my day nurse, who I just met a short while ago, had the smartest answer I've heard so far. It's probably my fibroids, which have been remarkably quiet and stable on the whole, having a passive aggressive hissy fit (my words, unfortunately; would have loved it if she'd said that herself, lol). The nurse called them "muscle hogs," and they obviously are feeling like they need some attention. No one's ever mentioned the fibroids as a cause before... they've only said, oh you've got an irritable ute... yah, but WHY??? Okay, the fibroids make sense. Granted they may not be the reason, but it's something I can wrap my head around, and also explains why it's all fuss but no action except the dilation.

In about an hour my perinatologist (high risk Maternal Fetal Medicine or MFM) doctor will be making the rounds, so I'll know better then what happens next. But from the looks of it, I may be here for a little while. And yeah, that may mean through Saturday. My baby shower is Saturday... BOOO HISSS FRIGAFRACKAFOOOOOOO! 

Okay, got that out.

Of COURSE, I'm not going anywhere if it will hurt baby's chances of hatching at full term (and at this point I don't think my doc will let me anyway; at this point I'm not even sure if she'll let me go home before I deliver)... but geez, really??? NOW??? Well, I was the one who pushed for the weekly exam this week, and not a two-weeker as my OB had originally suggested, because I wanted to make sure I was okay to go to my shower, but I certainly didn't expect events to go as they have. And probably good that I did push for the visit, because then I might have gone another week (or not) and not known things were amiss... eek!

Well, the nice thing is that I will have lots of visitors this weekend, as the family (and friends) are pouring in from all over the East Coast to celebrate. I think we will try to set up Skype or something for those who can't/don't come to the hospital.

They all do say that if I deliver even this early, baby will be fine... passed all the major milestones (or just about to this weekend), so there is some comfort there, but just WOW.

Operation Keep Baby Cookin' continues...

NEWSFLASH: They'll be moving me to an antepartum rooms (much better bed they say) sometime today. Gertrude is just being super irritable I guess because there are five tenants (baby + four fibroids). And I'm off the magnesium sulfate drip (yay) AND I've been allowed clear liquids... jello, juice, ginger ale, tea... woo hoo!




3:04 pm


The high risk doctor saw me this morning, measured the baby (estimated at about 6 pounds) and discovered that I am now 6 cm dilated and 100% effaced, so all bets are off. He wants this baby delivered. So I'm off the meds that try to stop labor, and they're watching to see how I react. The second steroid dose (to help baby's lungs mature) is due at 6:30 pm, so we're hoping to make it to that and then I'm not sure how long they will wait for my body to react before wanting to induce me. I don't have much further to go, lol, but my water hasn't broken yet. The reason they don't want this to go on any longer is because there is risk of infection with me being dilated so much for too long. I'd so much rather augment labor through natural means if I can, or at least have the option to try, but I won't get in the way of what's necessary. 


Overall I'm a bit nervous but trying not to freak out about it. I know we're in really good hands, but we still could use all the good vibes and prayers for a healthy outcome for both of us that can be spared. Thanks!




10:04 pm


Not quite an update, because not much has happened.

I got my second steroid shot at about 6:15 this evening. I've felt slight contractions throughout the afternoon and evening, but never spaced less than 10 minutes apart.

So we wait. I am hoping that I am "safe'" for the night, because I need to get some rest. Only slept about 3 hours last night, and today was busy with updates and phone calls from family making their way here for tomorrow's shower.

We'll see.

A little backstory

Baby Bird will be five months old on Saturday, September 17, and I feel like there is so much that I want to write about concerning day to day stuff right now.  But before I start blogging in real time, I'd like to take a step backward, and catch you up to the beginning.  So the first few posts in this blog will actually contain some historical items, including Baby Bird's birth story and some notes on his first few weeks of life.


My due date was May 28, 2011, but I was put on modified bed rest on March 8 at 28 weeks due to a shortened cervix and irritable uterus (which caused preterm contractions) and remained on bed rest as I began to dilate from Week 29 on.  I did everything I could to keep baby cookin', but managed only six more weeks out of the remaining twelve.  Arguably, those six weeks made a crucial difference, and by time delivery was inevitable all of our doctors felt confident that I'd gotten my baby to a healthy gestational age.  I gave birth at 34 weeks 1 day, the night after I was supposed to be at my baby shower (apparently this is a family legacy, as my mother missed her shower too when I arrived the same day).

It all began on Thursday, April 14, 2011, when I was sent to the maternity ward of the hospital straight from my 33-week appointment at the obstetrician's.  The following three posts contain what I wrote as events were happening...

My math explained, and a welcome :)

In the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, April 17, 2011 my husband and I were given quite a surprise (and a wonderful one at that) when our baby -- a boy -- was born, six weeks early.  We knew, intellectually, from that moment on, our lives would change forever.  What we didn't know, was how. We knew parenting would be exciting, and a challenge (the toughest job we'd ever love), but had no idea how intense, how time/energy/thought-consuming it would be.  We expected joy, and laughter, and even smelly exploding diapers, but we are often surprised at just what form they take (yes, including the poop).

We were already a family of two, and expected to be a family of three, but we quickly realized that parenthood is greater than the sum of its parts.   And so, I like to think that Mommy + Daddy + Baby do not make just three, but something more like π -- pi, 3.1415926532589793... -- three and then some, the little bit extra that you know is there, but can't quite put your finger on.  Like π's infinite decimal, the ways life changes after baby never end, and, to a large extent, never repeat.  And, it is that little something that radiates out of each of us which ties us together as a family unit, even if, at times, it feels as if it has us running in circles.

And so, here is my "mommy blog,"  in which I hope share some of the fun, frustrating and fulfilling ways motherhood has changed my life.

Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear your comments along the way!